Sunday, June 26, 2016

The Road to Dopey: Week 25 - The Dissertation is almost Done

June Miles to Date: 35.9
June Average Pace: 14:09
2016 Miles to Date: 163.6
Yoga Sessions this week: 2
Streak Day: 64 (Maximum: 64)
The American 200: 163.6/200 (9/16/16 Deadline)
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Chesire Cat: 15.6 miles

My dissertation is due in three days. My defense is in 10. Which means this week has been...stressful? Interesting? Terrifying? Exhausting? Let's go with all of the above. That seems easiest (and most accurate). it even caused a few interesting, stress induced dreams including, me being stuck in a weird version of Jurassic Park, my parents announcing they were getting divorced, and the engine seizing up in my car due to an oil leak.

There was a time that all of this going on would have meant I would have quit working out. But thanks to the streak I had going into this, it meant I had to keep my workouts. And I'm convinced it is the only thing that has helped me keep an ounce of my sanity. Run out the stress, chase away the bad dreams.

And so we arrived at 64 days of showing up for me. And I'm on track to exceed 40 miles in June, which I haven't done since January of this year.

I have to finish my dissertation this week, and my slides soon after so that my advisor can see them before he leaves for the July 4th holiday. Yeah, he's going away before my defense. That doesn't add to my stress though...

My plan for today is to do some studying for my defense, hit the grocery store for food, and generally try to rest a little bit so that I can make it through this very last final stretch.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

The Road to Dopey: Week 24-Texas Pollen, you are a terrible person

June Miles to Date: 23.5
June Average Pace: 13:59
2016 Miles to Date: 151.2
Yoga Sessions this week: 4
Streak Day: 57 (Maximum: 57)
The American 200: 151.2/200 (9/16/16 Deadline)
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Chesire Cat: 3.1 miles

I didn't run again this weekend. Friday night, I had a sleepover with my book club, which was a whole lot of fun, but I decided not to take my running stuff with me. I didn't want to wake everyone up, have to shower there, etc. But then this morning, I woke up feeling terrible. I hope it's allergies, but my head is congested, especially in my ears. So I'll do yoga later today to keep my streak alive.

57 days. Who'd have thought that I'd have made it 57 days. I certainly didn't. Now I'm to the point where quitting seems impossible. What was the point of 57 days if I stop now? What did 57 days mean?

I increased my running this week (or at least, I tried to. It should have had a weekend run attached to it). I ran Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday (3.1, 2, and 3.1, respectively). I wanted to do 4-5 today, but it's just not gonna happen. I still need to adjust my routine (I'm still not happy with exactly what it is), I'm thinking I'm going to do my Abs workout MWF, instead of just W with my shorter miles.

Other than that, I just continue to inch forward to my defense date. It's only terrifying when I think about it. It's starting to get really annoying to have to convince my boss to do the things he's required to do, but it's really nothing different than it's been for the past 9 months. I'm ready to be gone if only so that I don't have to deal with that anymore.

I'm so excited that I will get to go home in like 5 weeks. I'm ready to be home. I'm ready to have some time off from all of this before I start the next phase of my life. It's going to be good.

Until then, we keep running. Or we try to anyway.

Stupid allergies.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

The Road to Dopey: Week 23 - Another Step Backward, but the Finish Line is in sight!

June Miles to Date: 14.9
June Average Pace: 14:00
2016 Miles to Date: 152.6
Yoga Sessions this week: 4
Streak Day: 50 (Maximum: 50)
The American 200: 142.7/200 (9/16/16 Deadline)
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - White Rabbit: 15.0 miles

I'm at a loss for what to do. I didn't do a long run this weekend. I woke up tired yesterday and today and opted for yoga instead. I couldn't wrap my mind around the thought of 7 miles when it was already 80 degrees at sunrise. I just couldn't psych myself into it. So I did Yoga Tone, which is a work out, let me tell you, and it will have to do.

My anxiety around my defense and my move is building. There's so much to do and there's a lot of pressure (from myself) to get things right the first time I write them and I have to keep showing up for me because I know that's the only thing keeping my anxiety from being worse, But I also know I don't need the pressure of my run to be a cause of my anxiety - they're supposed to relieve my stress, after all.

50 days of showing up for me. It may not look like I wanted it to, but I'm still here. I'm still showing up for me in some capacity. When I started, I never actually thought I'd make it to 50. I had so many false starts between now and then. But if we apply that logic to the current situation, we arrive at my marathon training eventually taking effect.

I've decided to restart marathon training for the third time once I move in August. The climate will be cooler, it will give me a chance to increase my mileage at the higher altitude, and I will be less stressed and anxious (at least slightly). I may even start once I get moved out of my apartment. I'm trying to figure out how to run in the mean time (I'm thinking my 3 milers from the week and 4-5 on the weekend, this way I get some miles in, but I'm not pushing myself too much and have a manageable amount of time to devote to it). I currently have a call for advice out to my running community, so if anyone has alternative suggestions, I'm open to them.

I want to keep this streak alive. I want to keep showing up for me even as I reach the end of this stressful adventure. And I think the only way to do that is to lower what I'm doing. I need your support in this final stretch, friends.

Much love to you all.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

The Road to Dopey: Week 22 - Dear Texas Summer...I WON'T MISS YOU

June Miles to Date: 8.8
June Average Pace: 14:04
2016 Miles to Date: 146.5
Yoga Sessions this week: 3
Streak Day: 43 (Maximum: 43)
The American 200: 136.5/200 (9/16/16 Deadline)
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - White Rabbit: 8.8 miles

Dear Texas Summer,
I won't miss you. I won't miss that it's 70 degrees when the sun comes up and it's only June. I won't miss that the sun is bright and hot and beating down on me when I run. I won't miss that it makes me have to stop short of my long run goals consistently because of how terrible it makes me feel.

I won't miss you, Texas the place. I will miss Texas the people.

Today is streak day 43...43!!!! I never thought I'd make it to 43. I bet you didn't either, but here we are! The past two weeks have been hard. I wake up exhausted (the home stretch of dissertating will do that to you) and the last thing I want to do is run or even do my yoga. I want to sleep. I want to start working because the sooner I start, the sooner it's over. But instead, I get up and I do my yoga with Adriene (on my TV), or I lace up and go running. I feel better afterward, but that first go is so hard. You would think it would get easier as the habit formed, but it hasn't.

This week was long and too short at the same time. And it was definitely eventful. I finished my dissertation. I FINISHED MY DISSERTATION. 188 pages, 42,000 words. It is done. Well, okay, it's drafted. I proofread it on the tail end of this week, and now I'm applying all the changes I found. I also had my technical review and ordered my regalia for graduation. I also got a date for my defense. It's about a month away. Which is terrifying.

I also had to say goodbye to two of my book club girls. They are moving on too and they left this weekend. It was so hard. I won't miss Texas the place, but I'll miss Texas the people. I wish I could just pack everyone up and take them with me.

But we keep running. Literally. The plans for the end of this summer are coming together. And the next adventure is quickly approaching.

My Alice medal came this week. This is probably my least sweaty medal selfie ever.