Sunday, June 12, 2016

The Road to Dopey: Week 23 - Another Step Backward, but the Finish Line is in sight!

June Miles to Date: 14.9
June Average Pace: 14:00
2016 Miles to Date: 152.6
Yoga Sessions this week: 4
Streak Day: 50 (Maximum: 50)
The American 200: 142.7/200 (9/16/16 Deadline)
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - White Rabbit: 15.0 miles

I'm at a loss for what to do. I didn't do a long run this weekend. I woke up tired yesterday and today and opted for yoga instead. I couldn't wrap my mind around the thought of 7 miles when it was already 80 degrees at sunrise. I just couldn't psych myself into it. So I did Yoga Tone, which is a work out, let me tell you, and it will have to do.

My anxiety around my defense and my move is building. There's so much to do and there's a lot of pressure (from myself) to get things right the first time I write them and I have to keep showing up for me because I know that's the only thing keeping my anxiety from being worse, But I also know I don't need the pressure of my run to be a cause of my anxiety - they're supposed to relieve my stress, after all.

50 days of showing up for me. It may not look like I wanted it to, but I'm still here. I'm still showing up for me in some capacity. When I started, I never actually thought I'd make it to 50. I had so many false starts between now and then. But if we apply that logic to the current situation, we arrive at my marathon training eventually taking effect.

I've decided to restart marathon training for the third time once I move in August. The climate will be cooler, it will give me a chance to increase my mileage at the higher altitude, and I will be less stressed and anxious (at least slightly). I may even start once I get moved out of my apartment. I'm trying to figure out how to run in the mean time (I'm thinking my 3 milers from the week and 4-5 on the weekend, this way I get some miles in, but I'm not pushing myself too much and have a manageable amount of time to devote to it). I currently have a call for advice out to my running community, so if anyone has alternative suggestions, I'm open to them.

I want to keep this streak alive. I want to keep showing up for me even as I reach the end of this stressful adventure. And I think the only way to do that is to lower what I'm doing. I need your support in this final stretch, friends.

Much love to you all.

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